Opinion: Snow Boogers… Is It Okay To Kick Someone Else’s?

It’s just so satisfying… that thrill of one sharp solid kick and a chunk of ice falling from the wheel wells.

The question I pose to you is this… Is it permissible to kick someone else’s snow boogers? I don’t mean kicking their vehicle to get the ice that has formed in their bumper, just wheel well boogers- like these:

 

Now, is it necessary to remove these, no. Is it fun? ABSOLUTELY!

I feel as though it’s almost a sport… kind of like golf. It takes a bit of skill but even if you are out of shape, you can do it. Are there hazards? Indeed… you kick to high and you could hit steel- OUCH. Too low and you whiff and your shoe is full of slush and you have to try again.

Said boogers… or ice chunks if you want to be PG, are not good for your vehicle, it corrodes any metal that is still used in the construction of our vehicles. Plus, if they get large enough you can experience tire rub which is no good for your rubber. Therefore I say it is a privilege, nay… my RESPONSIBILITY to help someone kick their boogers! But, I must heed this warning… as a semi-professional booger kicker, you must be wary of temperature. Optimal temps range between 15-30 degrees Fahrenheit. Much colder than 15 and you are risking serious heel or toe damage. I am a toe kicker, but don’t discriminate against a heeler. Totally EOBP… (Equal Opportunity Booker Kicker).

If you are reading this and have the opinion that people should be allowed to kick their own boogs… I respect that, but we need to have a system of communication to signal that you will kick your own. I propose kicking 1 of the 4 boogers immediately when you park- front, driver-side is best. This allows anyone wishing to do their snudy (snow duty) by wanting to pick a friend’s booger aware that you have your boogers are under control.

Once all boogers have been picked… onto the swatting of these!!!

I swear… I might not get a bit of work done today!

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